Schemes of Classification

I detest being classified.

When people look at you and say, “Oh, you’re such-and-such” my natural reaction is to say, “Oh yeah? Watch this,” and then do something completely opposite. It’s not that rules of thumb aren’t useful within their limits, but I feel this horrible suffocating feeling when I am identified, pegged, classified, or otherwise forced into some schema. I feel that my ability to act except within some pre-mapped role is cut off, that because I am an EBZH or whatever, there are things that I cannot do. Because some site says that EBZHs are weak at this or that, then I cannot do this or that. As a result, I no longer visit such sites. I’ve researched all I need to research on Myers-Briggs (among others) and I know myself well enough to not need further conclusions.

However, it seems that humanity never has enough of these schemes. They multiply like locusts. Every year there is a new one. Every year there is a new way to feel fondled by the mental apparatus of strangers, to be saddled with all their expectations, to be sorted, binned, analyzed, and stored. Some people enjoy this; I do not. I feel some intangible part of myself is being exposed and therefore, eliminated, like I am being made into a marionette and the strings are being attached to my back. Now whenever I say or do something, I can feel the eyes upon me and the classification being applied, “Oh, he’s just being a puma”, dismissing and devaluing and diminishing me until I am nothing but an electrostatic charge whirring between NAND and AND gates on some deterministic electrical board, every move known before I make it, by those who are not God, but whom are imitating him for their own selfish and cruel reasons.

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