The News of Tomorrow Today!

Articles that predict what some official will do are nothing more than political flatulence, and only the writers who excrete this drivel are the ones impressed by it. Yay, go team! Rah rah rah! Or occasionally it’s “Your team sucks!” Either way, predictive articles are meaningless. Here’s why.

First, the writer will never admit error. I have NEVER read an article where a political hack returns to the scene of his crime and admits, “You know, I got it wrong that so-and-so would do such-and-such.” In order to do this, you must have integrity. Integrity is not part of your daily life when you’re defecating out words like a rabid possum hiding in a basement surprised by the garage lights.

Second, all such articles are fantasy, and not news. They are only one person’s opinion on what will happen, which is just as good as my opinion or yours. Do we really need more fantasy disguising itself as fact? No.

Third, these articles are easy to write. They involve no knowledge of actual events. The writer needs no connections. The writer needs no photographs to indicate the events happened. The articles require no intellectual capacity to understand what has happened. They can be written at any time prior to the event, so they have no sense of urgency, and no timeliness. In short, they are the lowest of the lowest form of political writing. They require the talent possessed by the writers of fanfic.

Fourth, these articles convey a sense of knowing something, but in reality, impart nothing. They are junk food for the mind.

If I never see another crystal ball article, it will be too soon. I can’t stand that so many websites push out this stuff as click-bait orgies rather than publish less often and publish more substance.

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