The International Bank of Syphilis

The Internet is like the International Bank of Syphilis – you can deposit anything you want, but the instant you make a withdrawal, you get syphilis, every time. What do I mean? I mean this: no matter what you search for, or what site you are on, you will see scantily-clad women. Every time. Now, how people can live constantly being turned on is another issue, but the point is, if you want that, fine. I don’t, and I would like to find images without having to see nearly-naked women in transparent underthings. Again, that’s not what I’m searching for, especially at work. Is Google’s safe search completely a joke? Can Duck Duck Go just not filter? What is this? Why is the internet run by perverts and why do I have to become a pervert in the process of using the internet?

Then again, image searches are pretty bad by default. For instance, no matter what other adjectives I put in for film noir, eventually I see Sylvester Stallone and some chick in the same picture. Every time. Why, internet, why?

It irritates me how much searches are like Pandora – you know, Pandora and the whole wandering radio station problem. You start off listening to say Mortal Love, and next thing you know, you get Alice in Chains in your station, and then over time, the most extreme music becomes Kelly Clarkson. Image searches are the same way. It’s like there are only 300 images on the internet, and there’s some evil blood oath that requires 50 of them to show up in every search or someone saws another ganglion off the newbie in Google’s basement. This makes finding images very hard. Maybe I’m just using the wrong tools, which is always a possibility, but for now, image search sucks.

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