An Inability to Appreciate Satire

I didn’t think that it was any great feat to understand at a glance, what DarwinCatholic expressed here. What stunned me, however, was the inability of the commentators to get it. They not only failed to apprehend it, they violently failed to apprehend it. At first, I thought this funny, then I thought it sad, and then at last, I found it annoying. How could people be so dense? Is it just a matter of being so thoroughly marinated in leftist PC doublethink that they need to have the basics explained to them, like a young mother explaining to her pea-throwing toddler, “This is how you chew it?” And some people thought the suggestion of marriage as something horrific (albeit still satirical) as Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”. Like marriage is comparable to eating Irish babies or something. Seriously?

The commentary rolled on, like a drunken man who has crashed through a bar window while also on fire — someone brought up the concept of marital rape. People, do you want to have the government policing the inner workings of husband-wife relations? Why not have an auditor there, counting how many orgasms per month you have, too, and recommendations from Obama’s All-caring Very Expensive Health Panels, to teach you how to better achieve post-coital bliss? Foolishness. First, the government has no business in the bedroom of married people; second, while married partners can force themselves upon one another, they have already committed their bodies to each other! That’s part of being married, and part of being married (obviously, some people reason out of ignorance) is having sexual relationships when you are too tired, don’t really want to, and so forth. Yes, a partner can still mistreat his or her partner, but it is not rape in the sense of being an actionable crime. In fact, to even adjectivize rape with “marital” leads you down the rabbit hole of all the many different kinds of rape there can be, all which trivialize the barbarism of the act itself. Marital rape is something quite like Bigfoot — far-fetched claims abounding, but actual evidence and prosecution, close to nil. The fact that people think this is a big problem just makes me shake my head.

I have always wondered why people think that government can and should do everything under the sun; I suspect it is an easy thing to say so that they can avoid the messy particulars of living and being responsible for their own actions. You mean I can’t rely on Helicopter Parent-in-situ Big Daddy Government, to handle sexual relationships between myself and my wife? No, Forrest, you can’t, and you shouldn’t try. The fact that you desire such a thing reveals that you are yet a child, even though you are physically an adult. In short, get rid of your diapers and put on your big boy pants, please. There is not enough money and there is not enough patience to care for a nation of 300+ million babies, who by this time in their lives, should have figured out how to handle their own problems and at least be tolerant enough to allow others to handle their own, without manacling everyone to the State.

In short, you have no right to steal my freedom because you refuse to grow up.

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